Thursday, November 20, 2008

Hell Is...Hitting A Plateau!

Ok this is my beef.....I've done so good losing weight after my surgery, I mean, 71 lbs in 3 months is nothing to sneeze at! The past 2-3 weeks though are driving me nuts!!

I know I've hit a plateau, which is where your body goes "whoa man, she's starving herself so let's hang onto some fat to use for energy!" I've lost maybe 2 lbs total this month which is frustrating after seeing 10-20 lbs come off in a month prior to this.

I know my weight loss is supposed to slow down somewhat but it's still supposed to be pretty fast coming off for the first 6 months right? I worry myself that if my weight loss slows down now I will never get to my goal weight. I should add that my surgeon told me to aim for a weight of 150-160 lbs instead of the goal of 140 lbs I set. I know I will have some loose skin that will account for some of that weight also. I have about 88 lbs more to lose. After weight loss surgery you generally have an 18 month window to lose your weight before you are in the maintenance stage. I worry that if I slow down now I'll never get to goal...

Ok, so it's been a couple weeks and I can't say I'm in a complete stall. I've still lost 1-2 lbs but oh so painfully slowly! I wanted to lose another 20 lbs by Christmas...yeah right! I weigh 137 lbs right now and for sure want to be below 200 by my birthday in April. That would average losing about 2 lbs a week.

I have been horrible in getting my protein shakes in lately and I know that is not a good thing. My hair is starting to shed a bit more than normal which worries me. A lot of ppl I know who had this surgery lost their hair around the 3 month mark, not all of it (don't want to scare you too much! lol) but a good bit of it. I am trying not to allow that to happen and one way is to get in enough protein, which I am not doing right now....

Anyways, hopefully by my next post I can tell you I've gotten over this danged plateau and am on my way to my goal weight!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Hi, My Name Is Gina And I Am A Binge Eater

Allow me to explain the title of this blog with what happened to me this past weekend.

On Thursday afternoon my mother asked me if I wanted to go out with her and my 3 year old niece to walk through Ojibway Park to which I said yes. On the way she said she was going to take my niece through the McDonald's drive thru but then changed her mind and we ended up at Appleby's.

I have not really gone to any restaurants since my surgery for a few reasons. First I was afraid that there'd be nothing on the menu I could handle since I haven't been able to eat much or keep certain new foods down. Also I was afraid of wasting food or eating too much and needing to throw it up.

Well I ended up ordering the appetizer sampler which has riblets, cheese quesadillas, mozzarella sticks, & tortilla chips with spinach dip. I also ordered french onion soup but I only sipped the broth part. I shared the appetizer with my mom and I ordered water to drink. I didn't eat a whole bunch but I felt bad about my choice as there was a lot of carbs.

Afterwards we walked for about a mile through Ojibway Park so I didn't feel as bad. Thing is....I couldn't stop thinking about that appetizer sampler after that!

Friday night Chris and I went to Blockbuster to get some movies to watch and I suggested going to get some take out at Appleby's. It had been on my mind all day! This time I got the sampler and also a banana/mango smoothie (not a good choice but I am tired of water and stay away from pop which is my downfall). I ate about half of it while watching movies. Eating while watching tv is not good as you are not aware of how much you eat and you end up eating more than you should.

On Saturday it was my niece's birthday and my sister decided to take the younger kids to see Madagascar 2 at the theater. I got Kalli (my 7 year old) a kiddie popcorn deal with twizzlers and drink. She ended up not wanting any of it so I ate the popcorn and twizzler. After the movie we went back to my sister's where we had stuffed crust pizza from Little Caesar's. I had a piece and a crazy bread stick but I only ate half of each. Then I had a small piece of chocolate pudding cake and a small scoop of chocolate ice cream but only ate half of that also.

I felt like such a failure after eating all I did this weekend. I posted about how I felt on obesityhelp.com and thank goodness for the good support we all receive there! One of the supporters is from my own Windsor Weight Loss Surgery Support Group. Dawn e-mailed me and told me I sounded a lot like her, a binge eater. I thought "omg yes! How could I forget?!" I do binge eat but I haven't since my surgery. It's also getting to be almost that time of month and I always binged more at that time. I don't feel so bad now. I've also tried to eat better today. I am getting myself back on track. I've failed other weight loss attempts before by cheating and feeling I failed but this time I have a tool to help me...my surgery! I am getting back on track.

I am such a perfectionist so I do tend to be hard on myself. I know I am not perfect but I have to accept that I am human and will slip up, but as long as I recognize that I am allowed to make mistakes as long as I fix it after than I will be fine!

Binge eating is not done out of hunger! I feel hungry but it's head hunger, not once did my tummy growl! I can usually take or leave food and have to remind myself to eat. I will always struggle with not binging but at least I know what my problem is and can plan ahead to avoid situations. I can also slip up and not feel I failed...I will just get back on track!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

3 Month Checkup

Today was my 3 month checkup with Dr. Hendrick. My appointment was at noon and my mom drove me across the border to see him, I'm nervous driving over in the states by myself lol.

Anyways, he seemed pretty happy with my results so far, losing 70 lbs in 3 months. I asked him what a realistic goal weight was for me and he said probably about 150-160 lbs. I had been aiming for 140 but I might still reach that....you never know!

Dr Hendrick said my scar is healing ok and even though it looks a bit raised up and red that it will fade and go down, that it's still healing. That was a relief! Sometimes if I do a lot of activities it turns purple lol. I'm not as upset having the scar as I thought I would be though.

He was happy to hear I have an exercise video I work out to now. Before I wasn't doing anything besides the demanding things I do at work. I had started walking shortly after my surgery but I never seemed to have the time to get out and walk. So now I do my Leslie Sandsone Walk Away The Pounds video lol. It's pretty easy and I walk anywhere from 1-3 miles during it while still in my house!

One thing I learned is that I am not getting enough protein supplements in. I try to drink one protein shake each day but he said for the first year at least it HAS to be two! They aren't that bad but I don't eat much, have to remind myself or force myself to eat. I know if I don't eat I won't lose either so I try but I have no appetite. I do drink a ton of water though. So now I have to try and fit those protein shakes in.

I'd like to lose another 10-15 lbs by Christmas. Chris (bf) tells me I am looking really good/hot lol. He thinks this is what I looked like when we met but I've told him I still need to lose 35 lbs to get to that point!

Anyways, I need to get some bloodwork done and go see Dr. Hendrick again in February, 2009. I hope to have lost at least 100 lbs by then if not more!