Friday, July 11, 2008

Now That's Much Better

I hate being scale obsessed, have been obsessed with scales since I was young. I wake up every day, go into the bathroom, pee (tmi? sorry lol), take off all my clothes (and glasses) then step on the scale. If I don't like the number I step off then step back on trying to make sure I am dead set in the middle of it, not leaning (could cause the scale to go up lol), and see if anything changes. It never does, of course lol. I always weigh myself naked, make sure I've gotten my bodily functions taken care of, never weigh AFTER a shower or bath (in case water gets soaked up in my skin and weighs me down), not even a hair band in, and I take off my glasses even though I am practically blind without them and have to squint hard to read the scale lol. You get the point now? My relationship with my scale has never changed and I doubt it ever will at this point. I have an obsession.

So, as I reported yesterday I was mad at my scale. "It" made me gain 7 lbs. Ok I know not to blame the scale but it's easier that way. This morning I was afraid to get on because I was bad before bed last night and ate Arby's as well as 3 protein bars! I cringed as I stepped on but was surprised. I am down 3 lbs! So those 3 lbs are most likely water weight but so what?! I am down 3 lbs! I feel a little better now lol. I am not so mad at my scale, all is forgiven.

I am going to try and eat better now. I also need to give up pop, that is going to be hard! I have such an addiction and I love my Dr. Peppers! I very rarely drink anything BUT pop. I know, I know...not good at all. So I will have some withdrawals and might be bitchy but I better try now so it won't be so hard after the surgery.

Anyways, I am off to the beach. Hope nobody mistakes me for a beached whale!

Get Me Off This Crazy Ride!

Ok, weight loss surgery is in less than a month now. If you could see me you'd think I was on death row and just given a request for my last supper!

I swear I am eating triple what I am used to because I feel I have to get in all my favourite foods before the surgery. I am eating fast food like it's going out of style! I really need to stop and catch my breathe, realize that it's not like I'll never be able to eat again. As a matter of fact, some people I have spoken to who had the surgery can eat almost anything they want, just in smaller portions.

I really don't know how I will be after the surgery. Some are pretty sick and others breeze through it. I know I will be fine as I have always been strong and healed quickly. What I am wondering is what foods I will be able to tolerate. Some post-ops have dumping syndrome with just about everything bad for them, others just certain types of foods, others don't get it at all. I am hoping I at least get it a bit so I won't want to fall back into bad habits.

Anyways, I got on the scale this morning after two weeks of going hog wild with food to see I gained 7 freaking pounds!! OMG!!!! I had lost 2-3 pounds a few weeks ago, well those are gained back plus 5 more pounds! I need to get control of myself now. It can't be healthy for me to gain before the surgery. I was hoping to start my weight loss now.

Last time I got on a scale I was 302 lbs, now I am 309 lbs! Somebody smack me! Ban me from fast food restaurants!!

Ok, I'm going to try and do better now. I'm taking two of my daughters to the beach tomorrow and I dread showing any skin lol. Hopefully next summer I will be showing off some skin!