Saturday, September 20, 2008


Lately I have been discouraged about not being able to eat more than a couple of bites still. I had gotten to the point where I was back to just fluids, soup, shakes because it didn't seem worth it to make anything to eat if I was going to just take two bites of it.

Well today I am so, so close to reaching the first big goal I set for myself. Originally I had about 160 lbs to lose so I decided my goals would be in 50 lbs increments. I got on the scale today and have lost 49.4 lbs which is so close to that 50 lb mark but I let out a little squeal of delight lol. I started off at 308 lbs and am now 259 lbs (amazing to be in the 250's now!). Also, my bf keeps calling me "flat ass" now lol, I tell him it's just cuz all my clothes are hanging on me but he keeps teasing me. I am afraid to try on smaller clothes yet, don't know why. I think I am afraid that if I try on smaller clothes and they don't fit I will be depressed. It does look funny though to see my size 4X clothes on me. I look like a little kid playing dress up in her mom's clothes!

I feel so much healthier but one of the best benefits of my surgery is that my kids are now eating healthier because there is no more junk food in the house! My 16 year old has taken up walking for exercise and my 12 year old who had gained weight is now losing it, my 18 year old son has really thinned out and well my 7 year old takes after her dad and is a skinny minnie! My kids were never fat but they had gained weight in the last year and I didn't want to see them go down the same road I did. I was skinny as a kid, always active and into sports. Once I had kids though my eating habits got really bad and fast food was just too easy when I was busy and on the go. To see my kids already into bad habits scared me but now they are learning to be healthy again. When they were younger I always made sure they had veggies (they were rare kids who loved veggies lol) and fruit. Now we have all those healthy things in the house again and instead of reaching for junk they have fruit or some other healthy snack.

My bf keeps complimenting me left and right which I love lol. He tells me how small I am now (I am still 60 lbs heavier than when we met!) and how he can get his arms around me so much easier. He loved me at my heaviest and when I told him I wanted the surgery he said he didn't want me to, because of the risks, but he wanted me to feel better and be healthier so he was behind me all the way.

I just have to say that having others support you in your weight loss goes a very long way towards helping you be successful. The more I feel supported the better I am doing. It is still hard some days and I want to give in to some temptation but I've done pretty good. I got a kick in the ass the other day when I tried a sip of Sprite lol, man ,my tummy burned for 5 minutes just from one sip, won't do that again! Other than little slips like that I just try to get in protein and fluids lol.

So, I think it's been about 7 weeks since surgery and to have gotten to my first big goal is just so encouraging! My surgeon wants me to lose a total of 80 lbs by my next appointment in November, which worries me lol. I don't know if I can attain that but maybe if I up my activity, I must admit I lack seriously in that. I have a little over a month to lose 30 more pounds by my next appointment lol.

Anyways, I'm so glad to have a lot of support and to hear compliments keeps me going. I wouldn't be so successful without the support I have!